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Are You A Night Owl?
Song Lyrics "Oh! How I Hate to Get Up in the Morning"
Where Did Dogs Come From and Why Do We Have Cats?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Are you a Night Owl?

You hate to go to bed the same day you got up

You're allergic to daylight savings time

In the morning you may look vertical, but there's nobody in there!

The hardest thing you do every day is get up – everything else pales by comparison

You wish days were longer than 24 hours – you could stay up until you got sleepy and still get enough sleep

Midnight is mystical, magical moonlight and definitely not to be missed on behalf of m-o-o-r-n-ings

Getting up early gives you jet lag

You think sunsets outclass sunrises any day of the week

"mornings" should be spelled "&%$#@^%&!?!" (or any combination thereof)

You wonder what's with this "early to rise ... makes a person healthy, wealthy and wise" stuff — aren't owls supposed to be wise?

The first week after daylight savings time begins you simply aren't

You know that brunch is "evah so much more elegant, dahling!" than mere breakfast could ever be

Your dinner companions keep falling asleep on you

Your spouse is a lark. The world is divided between larks and owls and they marry each other.
C.B.L., Washington

If God had wanted you to see sunrises He would have scheduled them for once a month at noon.
J.M., Florida

You marry a lark and are astounded to learn that anyone EVER gets up that early!
C.B.L., Washington

And now a contrary opinion from a lark!! "If it wasn't for some of these insomniac inventors who stayed up at night to figure out how to unnaturally light the night, we'd all be getting a good sleep, like god intended. Long sleep in the winter, shorter sleep in the summer, and just right in the spring and fall." B.W. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Oh! How I Hate to Get Up in the Morning

Words and music by Irving Berlin © Copyright 1918 by Irving Berlin

[Original 1918 version:]
[1st VERSE:]
The other day I chanced to meet a soldier friend of mine
He'd been in camp for sev'ral weeks and he was looking fine
His muscles had developed and his cheeks were rosy red
I asked him how he liked the life and this is what he said:

[REFRAIN:]
Oh! How I hate to get up in the morning
Oh! How I'd love to remain in bed

For the hardest blow of all
Is to hear the bugler call
You've got to get up
You've got to get up
You've got to get up this morning

Someday I'm going to murder the bugler
Someday they're going to find him dead

I'll amputate his reveille
And step upon it heavily
And spend the rest of my life in bed

[2nd VERSE:]
A bugler in the army is the luckiest of men
He wakes the boys at five and then goes back to bed again
He doesn't have to blow again until the afternoon
If ev'rything goes well with me I'll be a bugler soon

[alternate lines in 2nd REFRAIN:]
Oh! boy the minute the battle is over
Oh! boy the minute the foe is dead
I'll put my uniform away
And move to Philadelphia

[Revised version:]
[VERSE:]
I've been a soldier quite a while and I would like to state
The life is simply wonderful, the Army food is great
I sleep with ninety-seven others in a wooden hut
I love them all, they all love me, it's very lovely but

[REFRAIN:]
Oh! How I hate to get up in the morning
Oh! How I'd love to remain in bed

For the hardest blow of all
Is to hear the bugler call
You've got to get up
You've got to get up
You've got to get up this morning

Someday I'm going to murder the bugler
Someday they're going to find him dead

I'll amputate his reveille
And step upon it heavily
And spend the rest of my life in bed
[alternate lines in 2nd REFRAIN:]
And then I'll get that other pup
The guy who wakes the bugler up. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Where Did Dogs Come From and Why Do We Have Cats?

A newly discovered chapter in the Book of Genesis has provided the answer to "Where do pets come from?"

Adam and Eve said, "Lord, when we were in the garden, you walked with us every day. Now we do not see you any more. We are lonesome here, and it is difficult for us to remember how much you love us."

And God said, "No problem! I will create a companion for you that will be with you forever and who will be a reflection of my love for you, so that you will love me even when you cannot see me. Regardless of how selfish or childish or unlovable you may be, this new companion will accept you as you are and will love you as I do, in spite of yourselves."

And God created a new animal to be a companion for Adam and Eve.

And it was a good animal.

And God was pleased.

And the new animal was pleased to be with Adam and Eve and he wagged his tail.

And Adam said, "Lord, I have already named all the animals in the Kingdom and I cannot think of a name for this new animal."

And God said, "No problem. Because I have created this new animal to be a reflection of my love for you, his name will be a reflection of my own name, and you will call him DOG."

And DOG lived with Adam and Eve and was a companion to them and loved them.

And they were comforted.

And God was pleased.

And DOG was content and wagged his tail.

After a while, it came to pass that an angel came to the Lord and said, "Lord, Adam and Eve have become filled with pride. They strut and preen like peacocks and they believe they are worthy of adoration. DOG has indeed taught them that they are loved, but perhaps too well."

And God said, "No problem! I will create for them a companion who will be with them forever and who will see them as they are. The companion will remind them of their limitations, so they will know that they are not always worthy of adoration."

And God created CAT to be a companion to Adam and Eve.

And CAT would not obey them. And when Adam and Eve gazed into CAT's eyes, they were reminded that they were not the supreme beings. And Adam and Eve learned humility.

And they were greatly improved.

And God was pleased.

And DOG was happy.

And CAT couldn't care less one way or the other.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Add your suggestions to this page! We welcome contributions pertaining to night owls, cats, and dogs, gentle humor--anything reflecting the theme of this site.

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